Raw. That’s the word I found myself saying in nearly every sentence where I discussed what this blog should be.
Writing and I, we’ve always had a bit of an unstable relationship. The Sam to my Ron. (yes from Jersey Shore).
You know, the kind where… whether things are good or bad, it remains passionate. Passionately inlove when things are good and attached to each other with constant saliva exchanges whether in public or not, but when you’re not feeling it —its a passionate hate. It brings about heightened insecurities, jealousy, heartache but the sex is so good you almost sub consciously create arguments because you yearn for it’s tight grips, deep thrusts and tremendous moans.
So now, I’m here writing, with a group of anonymous, brown women by my side who challenge me in every way.
Every, fucking, way.
We don’t all agree on the same things. We debate and argue and swear at each other sometimes, in what feels like hourly long voice notes. But we stretch each other and challenge each other and bring to light different sides of many topics.
When I conceptualized this blog about a year ago, aside from the fact that I wanted to pour some writing into a platform that I actually gave a shit about and I’d gotten bored writing for a tech blog — I realized that the conversation I was having with women in my world was pretty unusual compared to the others, and it kept me more subscribed than any other publication reading I was doing.
It really wasn’t about contouring. (Which I still haven’t figured out nor give a fuck about BTW). We were arguing about the Fees Must Fall movement. For the first time I realized I have a friend who is an avid ANC supporter and my first reaction was “but you’re smart, why the fuck would you support the ANC?” and I left that conversation feeling like an absolute sheep-minded idiot because she schooled the shit out of me. We discussed how this dating game is all fucked up. We discussed gender fluidity and vented about gender norms. We discussed racial bias in the work place. We sent each other Thirst Traps and fucking celebrated each other from our career achievements down to our levels of thirst.
These women I know, are the untamable. They’re my heart and soul and I’d marry all of them.
This is a space for the unconventional side of conversations that women are having where it can be aired publicly with no filter, in an anonymous enviroment. It’s probably going to upset you at times, maybe you’ll agree, either way I just hope you feel something about it.
Are we feminists? Probably really bad ones.
I wrestled with the women who are contributing, we discussed the intersectionality of feminism and the importance of it on this blog. Admittedly, I fought hard about wanting to have white writers contributing to discussions that we want to have about racism, privilege, relationships and sex.
I desired what I thought was the broader perspective, and wanting to hear points of view from white writers who call out the bullshit of their race.
Feminism as I know it today struggles with its intersectionality. It struggles to cater specifically for the women of colour, the queer women and the transgender women (in no specific order). A lot of what feminism was built on is to empower and cater for white women.
As a not so great feminist, (who still loves trap music and was tempted to adjust my bio to: “Pussy I’m a bully and a boss. I’m killing ‘em, sorry for your loss”) this blog has to remain (for now) written by women of colour. While there are 100’s of blogs out there creating spaces for white women to tell us how to date, how to deal with privilege, how to make a career and how to deal with our issues. This space needs to create a voice by the women for the women whom they can relate to. This requires a rawness from a diverse group of women of colour.
This is our contribution to “feminism” because if we did it the other way around, we’ll be doing feminism an injustice.
So I guess it’s safe to say that maybe I am a bad feminists, but I’m trying. (And I’ll speak more about this later on).
Feminism is complex and at some points has its flaws, but if there is anything about it that I’d like to adopt within this blog and to inspire in any of the readers is the part about feminism that doesn’t make us afraid of being alone, of being too different or of wanting too much for ourselves.